“In our feminist-brainwashed culture, it is considered noble for a woman to devote herself to just about anything and anyone except a man.” — Christina, @_dearsister_

In part one, we looked that the history of feminism and some of the things it is characterized by today.

In part two, will examine its infiltration into the Christian zeitgeist.

When it comes to feminism, we are not fooled by the loud, purple-haired type. But there is a more subtle kind, and it looks sweet and sanctified. Here are some common identifiers of feminism in the church:

1. When we joke about men being the dumber sex. 

Feminism has in recent decades promoted the idea that the solution to perceived oppression is reverse oppression. In other words, vitriol toward men is encouraged. It is “the way forward.” And the way we contribute to this is to signal our virtue by implying men are stupid. It’s a way of saying “I’m progressive too!” It seems like nothing more than humble, self-deprecating humor. However,  humor can shape beliefs and practices as well as reflect existing ones. I’ve known some married women who were indeed very intelligent compared to the men in their life. When I pastored, I also knew some who were pretty stupid and vacuous. If you want to joke about your wife being smarter than you, great. Maybe she is. But please stop saying this about all men, especially if you’re in leadership. It is misguided. Christian men already have the entire western world telling them that they’re worthless, toxic, and unnecessary. This type of humor leaves some men wondering why they should bother trying to lead when no one will take them seriously when they do. You may be a “separated” looking woman, but if you soften your voice and talk to your husband like a child because you think it’s cute when he tries to lead, you're not much better than Jezebel.

2. When we make comments to men about them having to “ask the boss”. 

Feminism promotes the subtle notion that behind every good man is a good woman. There are some problems with this. Frankly, sometimes, a good man is just a good man, and that’s what caused him to choose a good woman in the first place. We drift into the lane of feminism when we suggest that every good man derives all of his character, virtues, and achievements from the woman as if she is really “the boss”, and he’s utterly devoid of all virtue without her.

If someone ever tells me to “ask the boss”, it’s actually my wife who is more insulted than I am. She has no interest in being designated as “the boss” and for someone to suggest that she is makes her wonder if there’s something about her testimony that made them think that. She doesn’t want the testimony of being bossy.

Stop saying "ask the boss". It's not funny, and a good wife won't appreciate you saying it. Behind every good man is the spirit of God, and he tends to put good women and these men together.

3. When we accept notions like “man works from sun to sun but woman’s work is never done” and subsequently over-emphasize “fairness”.

In a biblical home, a man’s work includes bearing responsibility, spiritual leadership, yielding his autonomy and time to people outside the home who do not love him, and making a home that is secure, supplied, and functional for his wife and kids. He bears the responsibility of discipleship and example-bearing. No matter how many good things a wife tries to teach kids, it will be undermined if the husband is a sap and a poor example. If you’ve ever tried to be a good example to anyone, you realize quickly that it’s tiring if that example isn’t the real you. A biblical husband either becomes a truly godly man, or he fails his family. There is no faking it. To properly lead in a home, a man must first lead himself. He has a duty to be filled with the spirit of God and rule his own spirit, which the Bible describes as more difficult than besieging a fortified city by yourself (Pro 16:32). Bearing responsibility, answering questions, making hard decisions, impromptu dad lessons, being the one who answers to God for the family, and ruling one’s own spirit is not from sun to sun. It is never done. And it’s hard.

But if we go down that road of who works harder in a marriage, it is always disastrous. One of the two will begin to insist that everything be 50/50 from the meals prepared to diapers changed and so on. A spouse that insists on 50/50 is revealing they are steeped in foolish comparison (2 Cor 10:12). They have chosen to stand above the other and measure them. Bitterness ensues, and then the mocking tones of feminism are soon heard. Husbands and wives are called to one hundred percent self-sacrifice for the home. In a marriage, both are to be selfless. And the moment you start measuring each other, you’ve failed to be selfless. No, it doesn’t always feel fair for either party. But when we start to over emphasize fairness instead of selflessness, we have accepted one of the basic premise of feminism.

4. When we advise younger men to just save time and tell her she’s right. Also known as, “Happy wife, happy life”.

This advice often comes from men who are beat down in their own marriage. Their wives are often better communicators and better debaters than they are so even if they are right about a thing they feel like they can’t win a disagreement. Even the manliest of men who loves a good fight hates even a small disagreement with someone he loves. So he gives up.

Men, if you were a wife, would you want to be secretly treated like a spoiled child and just placated to avoid conflict? Also, what sort of person are you if your husband is so worn out from disagreements with you that he has decided giving up is better? What sort of man are you if you give up on leadership so quickly? Easy. You are man who has bought into the feminist lie of “Happy wife, happy life.”

I definitely support making our wives happy. Just not at the expense of leadership and biblical roles. The “happy wife, happy life” phrase is simply a hostage threat. It means that your wife will hold your quality of life captive until she gets her way. She would respect you if you worked hard to be a wise leader and decision maker who values her council and takes up the mantle of responsibility. If you’re a wife that uses your feminine wiles to make your husband unhappy until he gives in, you’re a raging feminist. 

5. When your church ladies group demonstrates the “sisters before misters” attitude.

Early in our ministry in Connecticut, my wife attended a ladies night out hosted by another church. An evening of man-bashing ensued. If your church is blessed enough to have a sufficient number of ladies to comprise a ladies Bible study or fellowship group, observe how they speak about their husbands when you attend. Do they tell each other things they would not tell their husbands? If they make snarky or derogatory comments about men in general and try to get you to do the same, you’re with a rabid bunch of feminists. They believe the bond of womanhood supersedes the covenant they pledged in marriage. That’s feminism.  

Feminism has long been a heart response to men who do not lead, reject good character, and are derelict in their duty. Then in return, feminism creates the desire in many men to give up and not even try to lead. It’s a vicious cycle. This began in the garden of Eden and plunged the world into the curse. It destroys homes and families. And as the home goes, so goes the nation. Is feminism a destroyer of worlds? It goes without saying.

In part three, we’ll consider some preventions and solutions.